Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
That's when you crack a 10am beer
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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