but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
you made out with another girl for some wings
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize