the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
