Is it because I queefed?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
