Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
