I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
