When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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