Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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