chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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