Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
