i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
