shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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