i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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