Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
