I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
