All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
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