Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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