Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
