You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize