Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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