I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
