I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
