Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We are two peas in an std pod
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize