HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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