Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
