I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i out mim tonsoeep
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize