But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
