elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
