if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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