you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
