got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
