I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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