If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
