i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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