I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
