just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!