If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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