two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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