You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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