it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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