My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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