At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
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I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
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They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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