SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I need mimosas to revive my soul
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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