i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
