8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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