we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize