Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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