areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
