i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
