I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
