just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
