When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
tell your sister to shave her snatch
this beer tastes like vomit already
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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