see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
