i need an iv and a liver transplant
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
