Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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