I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
