apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
