Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
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