oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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