in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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