I wannas sexs uuuuu
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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